


you are my favorite person

by pictureperfectwatermelon



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Best Friends, Homophobic Language, M/M, Menstruation, Other, Pining, Platonic Relationships, Slice of Life, Trans Michael, its short ... kinda, period talk basically, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 16:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11383668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pictureperfectwatermelon/pseuds/pictureperfectwatermelon
Summary: you know that you are my favorite person--yeah, were never not gonna be a team(Jeremy and Michaela had been close friends for quite sometime. They met at a video game convention when they were both about 10 years old. Growing up together, Jeremy notices that Michaela is changing, but it'll never change the fact that she's his best friend.)





	you are my favorite person

**Author's Note:**

> We need more trans Michael.

 “Michael,” Michael’s head immediately snapped up to face his friend. Jeremy and Michael had been close friends for quite sometime. Long enough to have both suffered through the dreaded emo phase together, and the awkward and uncomfortable beginning stages of puberty, along with lot’s of other memorable, but most likely cringy moments in their lives. They had also been friends before Michael Mell’s transition.

 Jeremy met Michael at a video game convention when they were both about 10 years old. Jeremy’s father reluctantly took him and bought tickets, then, like the responsible parent he was, neglected his child and let him walk around freely. Michael went with his mom because his father had work on Friday, but would be coming the next day to accompany Michael.

 They met in the Gaming room, where Jeremy snagged a seat in a popular game at the same time Michael did. They faced each other, Jeremy with a look of surprise because _wow that’s a girl!_ And Michael with a look of slight irritation because _wow, he’s totally starstruck because I’m a girl._ Michael huffed, and grabbed the game controller, and scooted back into the chair that was too big for him. Jeremy also grabbed his controller, but couldn’t keep his eyes off of Michael.

 “If you don’t stop _staring at me_ you’re going to lose this round.” Michael said smugly, his totally attention on the screen in front of him.

“What?” Jeremy responded dumbly, looking from Michael and back to the screen.

 

_Player One Wins!_

 The game announcer pronounced.

 

Michael smirked and set his game controller down. Jeremy was still staring at the screen, surprised that he managed to actually _lose._ He was definitely the best player out of all his friends, and probably even class. But this random girl he didn’t even know managed to beat him. She couldn’t even properly sit in the chair, she was so short!

 The girl jumped out the chair, and wiped imaginary dirt off her skirt, curtsied, and turned to walk away to where her mom was waiting for her.

 “Wait!” Jeremy called out. She turned to him, a look of complete disinterest on her face.

“How did you do that?” He asked.

 She stared at him, and looked him up and down as if she was deciding whether he was worth teaching her skills to. Jeremy stood up higher and puffed out his chest in an attempt to look more “worthy”. She sighed and shrugged.

 “I guess… I can teach you. I mean, that lose was _pretty_ sad. Sure. Why not? You can tag along.” She let up, and started walking back towards her mom. Jeremy smiled and ran after her.

  “Who is this?” Michael’s mother asked, referring to Jeremy. She had brown skin and long dark hair. Her smile was warm and inviting, and Jeremy’s face flushed red from the attention she was showering him with. When she spoke, Jeremy could hear a distinct accent, but he was too young to be able to place it to any specific dialect.

“I beat him at that game, and he wants to learn some tips from me. Is it okay if he tags along?”

“Of course. But what about his parents?” She asked Jeremy.

 “O-Oh. My dad let’s me do whatever I want to! So he said I could walk around alone.” She got a look of concern over her face, but she schooled it back into a gentle smile.

“Yes, yes. Okay, you can come along with us.” She said.

 “Nanay, can we go there?” Michael asked, and her mom nodded and walked along with them, her hands placed on their backs in a protective gesture.

After meeting at the gaming convention, the girl, Jeremy met whose name was Michaela, became Jeremy’s first friend to meet out of school. Before they went home for the day, her mom had asked Jeremy if he knew where his father was, and Jeremy shook his head and shrugged. She then asked if he knew what his father’s number was, and he said yes, gave her his number, and she called him.

 “Okay, you’re dad says… You will be coming home with us.” Michaela’s mom said. Michaela looked up confused, and opened her mouth before her mother shot her a look that Jeremy caught, but didn’t understand.

 “Is that okay with you, Jeremy?” She asked, crouching down to be eye level with him. Jeremy blinked, then nodded. He didn’t really mind going home with them. So Michaela’s mother took him and Michaela by the hand to their car, drove them to their house, where they fed him a dish he’d never had before in his life and couldn’t pronounce very well. He ended up staying there until past his bedtime, but it was okay because he and Michaela were given permission to stay up, and Michaela’s dad let him hang out in his “man cave”.

 He found himself not feeling odd about his father being late or a no show for the first time.

 

 

 

Middle school was a huge and scary transition, because Michaela heard from her friend’s older siblings, _everything_ changes.

 Michaela had Jeremy over one day during the summer. She claimed that she had to set some things straight with him. Jeremy eagerly came over, and they both rushed to her room. Michaela slammed the door behind her, and then her mom yelled in filipino, and Michaela turned red in the face. She opened the door, yelled something back, closed it again, but this time less roughly. All the while Jeremy made himself comfortable on her bed.

 “So, what’s up?” He asked. He was flexing his toes, his shoes left downstairs after learning that Michaela’s mother did not like shoes in the house. He noticed that his friend looked a little conflicted. Her hair was messy, and her glasses were crooked on her face.

 “Jeremy, there is something I need to tell you.” She said to him.

 “Okay! Shoot.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I’m listening. You can uhhh, say what you want to say.” He says. Michaela whispered under her breath _oh,_ and then nodded.

 “Jeremy, don’t take this personally, but after hearing what everyone said about middle school… We may have to stop being friends.” She said.

 “ _Wh_ _at??_ ” Jeremy asked, shocked. Michaela nodded.

 “Yeah.”

“What?”

“Yup.”

“Noooo…”

 Michaela groaned and grabbed Jeremy’s face.

“We have to stop being friends! In 6th grade, we _can’t_ be seen together. At all.” She said, shaking him. “This is for the best of us.”

 “You mean, ‘this is for the best’.” Jeremy gently corrected.

“Yeah, that.”

“Michaela… _Why_ ?” It was hard for Jeremy not to take this personally, because they’d been good friends for _two whole years_. Suddenly being out of friends with his friend was so weird, because that meant a lot of habits would have to change. For one, he couldn’t greet her in the hallway. He couldn’t call her, he wouldn’t ever go to her house, and probably one of the worst things was that their secret handshake would no longer be a thing.

 “I was talking to Jessie and she said that boys and girls don’t casually hang out like this. Once we enter 6th grade, that all has to stop, or else people will start saying _things_.”

 “What type of things?”

 “Jeremy, people will call me a hussy!” She shouted, then covered her mouth and they both waited in silence because hussy was a bad word that they couldn’t be heard saying. After a couple seconds of silence, she slumped back into her defeated posture.

“And people will call you a player, or something.”

 “Hey, that’s not bad!” He said. “Being a player is cool.”

“But Jeremy… I… I don’t want to be a hussy.” She said, sadly. “I’m not.. I don’t do that. That’s gross, and I don’t want to be a hussy, Jeremy!” Her face was scrunching up, trying to contain her tears because she didn’t like crying in front of other people. Jeremy learned this from her gentle nanay while she was bandaging Michaela’s leg after she scraped it trying to ride a bike for the first time.

 “M-Michaela, you won’t be a hussy! That’s silly, you would have to act the part to actually _be one_.” He scoffed, and then reached out and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her into a side hug. Her large glasses smushed against him, and her hair tickled his neck. She smelled like her coconut shampoo and Jeremy took a discreet whiff.

 “You think so?”

“Yeah, I know so! I mean, come _on_ Michaela. How much of what they said is actually _true?_ ” He said, rolling his eyes and speaking like this was the most obvious thing.

 “You know the older kids are always saying stuff to try and scare us. And I can only think of like, two people in our class who would become hussies, and neither of them are you. You’re so insanely _cool._ Also, hussies don’t play video games, soooo.”

 “Awww… Thanks Jeremy.” She said, then she pushed herself away from his grasp. He reluctantly let her go.

 “Okay, scrap that, you can still be my friend.”

 When arriving to school after the break, Michaela and Jeremy came in, side by side, conversing happily. They didn’t really care about any boy or girl divide, because as far as they were concerned, video games topped all of that teen stuff. Jeremy got a couple questions from his friends that were usually like, _“Dude, why do you still hang out with that girl?”_ and he would respond, _“Because she can easily kick your butt at any video game.”_

 

 

 

Towards the end of 6th grade, Jeremy noticed that Michaela was starting to change.

 It started off pretty subtle. She would hang out with her girl friends, and they would all go out and get dressed up and beat their faces and head to the mall. Michaela would tag along, but always in pictures and selfies, she was usually dressed down with a natural face. Jeremy can only think of one time Michaela had full makeup, and that time Jeremy had on full makeup too, because her mom let them play with her makeup. The second time Jeremy can remember Michaela having makeup, she only had on lip gloss, or a “lip stain” her father gifted her. She put it on at her birthday because her friends urged her to, and she came out the bathroom with her friends with an awkward smile and hot pink lips. It got all over her teeth but in the end that didn’t matter because it all came off when they ate cake.

 “Hey, Michaela, how come you don’t wear makeup?” He asked her one day while they were lounging on Jeremy’s couch, watching some TV show. Michaela reached for another chip, and ate it while thinking of her answer. She swallowed then replied, “Why you ask?” Jeremy almost goes to correct her grammar, but continues to push forward with his question instead.

 “Well. All of your other lady friends wear makeup. They look really pretty! But I just noticed that you don’t.”

“It’s just because _I don’t._ ” She snapped back.

 “Okay, okay, damn… It was just a question.” Michaela huffed, then sat up.

 “It’s like.. Well, all of your friends like to wear a certain sports brand, but you don’t. And you also don’t play football with them. And you don’t bully girls with them. It’s like that, except with makeup. At least, for me.” She confessed.

 “Ohhhh. Yeah, that makes sense.” She smiled at him, and he smiled back, and they went back to watching TV.

 Michaela wasn’t just forgoing makeup. She stopped wearing skirts and dresses.

 Jeremy came over to her house, and Michaela was called downstairs by her mom to do some dishes. When she went downstairs, he was left alone in her room. He remembered his friends saying once, _“I went into Josh’s sister’s room, and I went through her shit and found the craziest stuff. You wouldn’t believe…”_ He then came to the realization that he was currently in a girl’s room. He wondered if he would find some of the stuff his friend mentioned, and found his eyes skitting around the room. In his mind, he knew he shouldn’t go through his friend’s stuff, but his curiosity got the best of him. Besides, they were nearly best friends, it wouldn’t be that bad. Jeremy would let her search through his stuff anytime.

 He stood up and found pretty standard things. He did find pads, but it was unopened, and had some dust gathering on the top. He decided now to rummage through her closet.

 Michaela had a large walk in closet, where she kept shoes and all of her clothes and under-things. While pushing through her stuff he accidentally stumbled upon her underwear and freaked out because _ew ewew Michaela’s underwear ew ew_ and he averted his eyes, but he knew his whole face was red. He continued through her closet, looking at her clothes with disinterest. Her clothes were organized in shirts, pants, dresses and other different articles of clothing were all put together on the rack. While searching through her bottoms, he noticed that she only had two skirts. One he knew was his mother’s that she passed down to Michaela, and the other one was actually Michaela’s. She also only had one dress.

 

_Huh._

 

He went down memory lane, and thought of every time Michaela wore a skirt or dress, and realized that she had lost more than half of them, and her collection of pants and basketball shorts had grown considerably.

 _That’s weird. Girls should have lot’s of skirts and dresses. Maybe she just.. Outgrew all of them?_ But that couldn’t be, because Michaela barely grew an _inch,_ and judging by her appearance, she hadn’t gained any weight. So where were all the skirts?

“Jeremy! I’m back, sorry, mom wanted for me to do the dishes, but I’m here now!” Shoot. Jeremy was still deep in her walk in closet. He shut off the light, and quickly closed the door.

“Jeremy?”

“Jeremy? Where are you? Are you hiding somewhere? I will find you.” She then started searching, and Jeremy prayed she wouldn’t find him in the closet.

“Jeremy!” Her muffled voice could be heard in the hallway, and he felt his heart rate slow down. _Thank god._

“Michaela,” He said after leaving the closet and leaning out the doorway. “I’m right here, what are you doing?”

 

 

 

One of the biggest changes that Jeremy witnessed was when Michaela decided to _cut her hair._

“And daddy was like _‘Are you sure?’_ and I’m like… Yeah. Yeah I’m sure, it’s _my_ hair.” Michaela chuckled. Jeremy and Michaela were now 13.

Jeremy stared back at her like she was crazy, as well.

“...What…?” She asked him.

“You’re cutting your hair?” He asked. Michaela’s hair was just like her mother’s, long, dark and silky. Jeremy _loved_ her hair, especially the way it smelt. He thinks about the times they would sit together or lie down and Jeremy would run his hands through her lovely hair. Now she was _cutting it?_ Why?

“Yes..? I’m cutting it.”

“H-how much?” He asked, and he felt stupid, but he _had_ to know. How much of her hair would be chopped off? Would he be able to run his hands through it again? Would it grow back the same length? These were all really important questions.

“Uhm.. Like, only to my shoulders. I-It’s not going to be anything _big._ ” When she said that she sounded extremely disappointed.

“Do you _want_ to cut your hair shorter?!”

“Yes!!”

" _W_ _HAT? WHY!!”_ He asked, distressed.

“Jeremy--! I! I-I just. .. I want to cut my hair short! It’s my hair, I should be allowed to do whatever. I’m not Rapunzel!”

“Yeah I know, but your hair is amazing, Michaela! It’s so good!” Michaela stared at him, then she flushed a light shade of red.

“Thanks, but I don’t want it long. I want a change, you know?” She asked, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. Jeremy knew he should let his protest die, because Michaela was his closest friend, and she just wanted some support. Her parents were still on the fence about cutting her hair, and he could tell that she wanted to do this. He might even say she _needed_ to, and he felt like if they didn’t take her to cut her hair professionally, she would take scissors to her head and shittily chop it off. He sighed, then looked at her and let a little smile slip.

“Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I can’t wait to see it.” He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t exactly telling the truth. But Jeremy knew no matter what length her hair was, she would still be his closest friend.

 

 

 

Puberty was disastrous for most people. Classrooms smelt like pits during the summer, and girls always came armed with sweaters. For Jeremy, puberty was obviously out to get him because his previously clear face was now breaking out, and it was terrible.

Yeah, puberty sucked, but it completely _tore up_ Michaela.

Jeremy showed up to school one day, and waited for Michaela in the classroom. His friends were off having some conversation about a sports video game that Jeremy didn’t care for, so he was only half paying attention. She’s usually not late at all, but hey, it happens. He was sure she would show up, but the bell rung, and there was no sign of Michaela.

He went the whole day without her.

He came home in a less than positive mood, and a little pissed that his best friend didn’t show up. _Maybe she suddenly got sick?_ He thought, trying to rationalize. He grabbed his phone and called her. The phone rang a handful of times before it was _declined. What the hell?_

He called her again, and the call was declined after two rings. Frustrated, he decided to shoot her a text.

 

 **JEREMY** yo michaela what the heck ??

 **JEREMY** why did u decline my calls

 **MICHAELA** becuz

 **JEREMY** becuz what??

 **MICHAELA** ok chill dude its not a big deal

 **JEREMY** whats going on??

 **JEREMY** did i do something i diny dnerstand

 **MICHAELA** no its not to i just dont feel like talking rgith now

 **JEREMY** huh

 **JEREMY** are you sick?

 

Jeremy felt concern take over his frustration. Michaela barely ever gets sick, and the last time she was so sick she missed school was when she was 11, and she got the flu. It sucked to have her in bed because they couldn’t talk to hang out or do anything, and when she did show up to school she said it was terrible, and her head hurt and she couldn’t think and eating made her throw up… The whole retelling of her flu was graphic and disgusting. He hoped that wasn’t what she had now.

 

 **MICHAELA** yeah something like that

 **MICHAELA** anyway i need to rest im srry jeremy

 **MICHAELA** talk later?

 **JEREMY** okay…..

 

“Something like that” was really vague, because it could mean she had something _worse_ than the flu, or that she was completely lying to him. He was hoping she wasn’t lying, but most of all he hoped that she would feel better soon.

Jeremy ended up pretty lonely that afternoon. His phone blew up with a couple of texts from the group chat he was in with his male friends, but he barely skimmed the messages.

 

 **RICH** yo jeremy i see u checkin these messages quit lurkin faggot

 **JEREMY** chill dude

 **RICH** lmao

 **JJ** yuh dude

 **JJ** hey where was ur gurl friend today

 **RICH** yeah heremy wher was she??

 **JJ** looool

 **JEREMY** none of ur business back off

 **JJ** dude she ditch today

 **RICH** u kno u got issues when a bitch has more balls thanu lmaooo

 **JJ** trueee

 **JEREMY** she didnt ditch

 **JJ** then where was she

 **JEREMY** she got sick or something idk

 

Jeremy wasn’t really in the mood to be having a Q & A session with his friends, but if he kept quiet they wouldn’t shut up, and they would definitely harass Michaela, and she needed rest at the moment.

 

 **JJ** sick?

 **RICH** mmm she got sick

 **JEREMY** yeah

 **RICH** u sure she aant lying to u bro

 **JEREMY** yeah?

 **RICH** bruhhh so many girls bee n calling in “sick”

 **RICH** sickm y ass

 **JEREMY** ??

 **JJ** oooooo BRUUHH

 **JJ** YOU MEAN

 **RICH** YEAH DUDE

 **RICH** i mean assuming she even fucken has a pussy dude

 **JEREMY** ugh ew ew dont say that about my friend

 **RICH** shut up faggot

 **JJ** oooooo jeremyyyy your girl is becoming a qwoman duuude

 **JEREMY** what

 

What. What? What does that mean.

 

 **JEREMY** what does that mean

 **RICH** dam you dumb as shit heere

 **RICH** lemme spell it out

 **RICH** her pussy is fuckinb bleeding

 **JEREMY** WHAT

 

WHAT. WHAT? WHAT.

 

 **JJ** u dumbass heere omg

 **RICH** BRO U DUMB AS SHIIIT

 **JJ** she got her period dummyy

 **JEREMY** OH.

 

Jeremy then put down his phone. His whole face went red and he noticed that his pits were sweating. Michaela was on her _period?_ Even thinking of that word felt so weird. Her… Lady parts were… Bleeding? That’s _normal_ for girls? That sounds…

That sounds absolutely _terrible._

About two days later Michaela showed up at school, looking tired and irritated. Jeremy greeted her, but she only gave him a grunt in response. After researching more about periods, he found that they last about five to seven days. She was probably still… Yeah. Oh boy. He could barely imagine how uncomfortable she must be. If Jeremy were bleeding from his dick he wouldn’t even show up to school, yet here she was.

When they got into class his friends took one look at Michaela, at each other, at Jeremy, and then they chuckled. Michaela took no notice, but Jeremy did, and he felt a little unsettled, and hoped the Michaela wouldn’t notice because he also felt _guilty._

“Hey, Michaela,”

“Rich, shut up--”

“You shut up, faggot… Anyway. Hey, Michaela.”

“What.” She answered, her voice stern. She didn’t even turn her body to face them, but she still managed to convey total annoyance. Jeremy’s friends didn’t seem to pick up on this, and they continued to bother her.

“Hey, Michaela… I guess you could say… It really is your time of the month…” Rich said, giggling, leaning over his other _stupid_ friend, probably thinking to himself that he just made the best joke ever to be known in the universe, and Jason is slapping his thigh and his mouth is upturned and open in a silent laugh, and Jeremy is shocked still from _guilt._ They know this because he couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut about her.

“You… …” Michaela stood up, shoving her chair back into Jeremy’s desk. She turned to both Rich and Jason and Jeremy swore he saw the devil himself in her eyes.

“Fucking ASSHOLES.”

Michaela was sent to the office for swearing, then to the nurse’s office for cramps.

At the end of the day, Jeremy was alone, _again,_ and he entered his empty house feeling regretful. He should have known they would have made some stupid joke about her period. They were immature boys for crying out loud, and Jeremy knew this! But he told them everything they needed to know and was the reason she was bullied. Every boy in school probably knew Michaela was on her period and it was Jeremy’s fault. _My fault my fault my fault MY fault._

When the weekend arrived, Jeremy rushed over to Michaela’s house and immediately shot out a garbled, desperate apology. Michaela shrugged and said she didn’t care too much, because it happened to every girl. But when she said “every girl”, it was almost like she was forcing the words to leave her mouth because it was the truth, but at the same time she wish she didn’t have to say it because it was disgusting.

“Hey, I think girls are pretty tough, especially if this is what happens to you guys every month.” He said, offering comfort. He tried to lean in to wrap his arms around her, but she recoiled and grimaced, hissing out, “Yeah”.

 

 

 

Summer break used to be extremely uneventful until Michaela had entered his life. She usually dragged him around everywhere, or made him hang out with her in her basement. A tradition they both had was to go back to the video game convention where they met.

“Okay, so, summer plans-- I was thinking of going to that new amusement park that opened up, to see if it’s any good. It’s actually pretty close and I think one of our parents could like… Drive us there.” Jeremy spoke into the phone.

“Mmmm… Yeah.”

“And like, the rides aren’t anything special, you can tell by looking at the pictures, but it could be fun, still? I mean, it’s better than driving 90 minutes to the closest Six Flags. Plus, if it turns out to be cool, we’ll have missed out on something.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Also, the beach. We _have_ to hit the beach, dude. How many girls do you think will be wearing bikinis? Specifically, how many girls from our school will be wearing bikinis? It’s not like we’re ever seeing them again so it’s not awkward. And, we’re practically high schoolers now, so it’s less weird to flirt with them. I guess you can go hound after some guy-- I’ll help you! You could use me to make him jealous, or something--”

“Jeremy.” Michaela spoke into the phone, slowly.

“Michaela.”

“I’m not… Going to be here this summer.” She said.

“Oh. Where are you going? I mean, if it’s only the next town over it’s no big deal--”

“Jeremy. I’m not even going to be in this state.” She said, her pace still slow, almost like she was hesitant to be speaking these words. Jeremy couldn’t tell if it was because she was unsure of what she was saying or unsure of what Jeremy’s reaction would be.

“Oh. That’s… Cool. I guess. What state?” Michaela disclosed the state she would be traveling to. Jeremy hummed.

“Michaela… A-are. Are you … Are you moving?” Jeremy asked, and he didn’t notice before but his throat was starting to hurt because he was holding back tears. His best friend of five years was possibly moving away. Far away to a totally different state. They would never see each other in person every again. Jeremy would start school lonely. Stuck with shitty friends that he didn’t even like that much.

“What?” Michaela asked, dumbfounded. “No you idiot. I’m not moving. What? What made you come to that conclusion?”

“BBECAUSE, you sounded all sad and vague and I thought you were afraid to break the news that you were moving! You totally led me into thinking that!” And the smile that graced his face at the beginning of the conversation came back, and his spirits rose again, because she wasn’t moving away, he wasn’t going to be _alone_ like he always was without her.

“So… When are you coming back?”

“Sometime before the gaming convention.”

“Nice! That’s like. Our thing.”

“Yeah, yeah! I totally wouldn’t miss it.” She said with a reassuring tone.

“Okay. Cool.”

“Yeah.”

There was a couple seconds of silence, and then both Jeremy and Michaela raced to say something, then silence again.

“Uh. W-what were you going to say?” Jeremy asked.

“I was just going to say that I’m sorry we can’t hang out this summer, you know? ‘Cause we usually do, but like. You know. I’m sorry, dude.”

“Hey! It’s totally okay! At least you’re going to be here for the convention!” She knew that he was normally lonely during breaks, unless Michaela was there. He had no close friends, and no idea where any of his other relatives lived. Not to mention his dad was barely ever around, and never hung out with him. Jeremy hoped she didn’t _pity_ him or anything. He wasn’t exactly happy with his situation but he didn’t need other people to pity him.

“Yeah! Okay, I have to go now, Jeremy. Bye, dude!” Jeremy said bye, then Michaela hung up and Jeremy stared at his phone screen for a couple seconds, before groaning and lying back down on his bed.

He figured his summer was just going to be hot, sweaty, and worst of all, boring. He looked at the calendar and thought he’ll probably die of boredom before heat stroke.

 

 

 

_Headed out the the con this morning-- Be back tonight_

Jeremy scribbled on a sticky note. It was vague, but he figured his dad would either not read it, or not really care where he was. Jeremy himself wasn’t even sure of his plans, he was just sure that he was going to meet Michaela there and have a blast, because his summer pretty much turned out to be a bust.

After grabbing all of his stuff and shoving it into a backpack, he sent out a text to his friend.

 

 **JEREMY** im heading over rn

 **JEREMY** dude im so excttied

 **MICHAELA** yeah

 

Lately, Jeremy has noticed that his friend seems… Withdrawn. Michaela only started texting him in August. After texting that she was on the road with his family, it was complete radio silence from her. She didn’t update her Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook (yes, they used Facebook) or Tumblr. Sometime early August, he got a text from her that read

 

 **MICHAELA** back!! :)

 

And after that she had started texting him more. Recently, when Jeremy went back to check her social media accounts to see if she had posted, it turned out that all of her photos had been _erased._ Even her Tumblr was blank, and she changed her Snapchat account. Jeremy was hoping she didn’t go to some high strung summer camp, with a bunch of snotty teens and suddenly completely change. Another totally plausible reasoning is that she is either possessed or is being impersonated by an alien.

But this morning he had been too excited to ponder over what spawned the change from his friend. He just wanted to see her again. Michaela was his favorite person, and spending the whole summer without her physical presence, and on top of that not being able to communicate with her sucked.

He hops on the bus to the convention center, bouncing up and down in anticipation. Once he saw her he was going to tackle hug her _so hard._ Then drag her to the panel for the new zombie apocalypse game that would be out later in the year.

 

 **MICHAELA** meet me at the entrance with the water fountain

 

She texted him. He started walking his way over there, and with each step he felt his excitement increase and before soon the water fountain was in view and he was sweating and trying to keep himself from smiling like an idiot.

Once he got to the water fountain, he looked around to find Michaela.

 

 **JEREMY** where r ry uuu im heereee

 **JEREMY** *heere

 **JEREMY** lol

 

He sat on the edge of the water fountain, feeling small droplets of the water hit his neck. She was probably just late or something. He would give her like five minutes before getting up to look around again or maybe call her.

Five minutes passed

and Michaela was still nowhere to be found. He had been periodically checking his phone, waiting for a text back, but nothing came.

 

 **JEREMY** dude where u @

 **JEREMY** i havent movd from the water fountai nby the way

 

He waited a minute, and after getting no reply started to get worried. Maybe there was traffic? Or she got hurt while crossing the street to the convention and was now being escorted to the ER? Or someone kidnapped her? Or she forgot the layout of the convention and got lost or something else equally as terrible happened oh god--

“Hey.” A voice called out to him. He looked up, and in front of him was a boy, about his age, wearing a red hoodie and headphones pulled down around his neck.

“Uh.. hi?” Jeremy responded. He tugged on his backpack straps, wondering who the hell this guy was. He had tan skin and dark brown hair, and glasses, just like the ones Michaela had.

“So. Do I know you?” Jeremy asked, totally confused as to why this weirdo was standing in front of him. Was he doing something illegal? Was sitting on the water fountain prohibited?

“Yeah, actually, you do.”

“Wha--?”

“Jeremy, it’s me, Michaela.”

What?

“What?”

‘Michaela’ chuckled, “Seriously, dude. It’s me.”

“I don’t even _know_ you dude. If this is like some weird _prank_ or,”

“Okay, okay, okay. I can prove it.” The guy whipped out his phone and started texting, and then Jeremy received a text. He lifted up his phone and read it, keeping the screen away from where ‘Michaela’ could see it.

 

 **MICHAELA** dude its literally me

 **MICHAELA** thats why I'm in your contacts

 

Jeremy looked up at the guy, still with disbelief written on his features.

“Well, the last time I remember seeing Michaela, she had shoulder length hair and was a girl, so.” ‘Michaela’s smile faltered a little bit.

“I know you’re name is Jeremy Heere. We both met here when we were like 10. I beat your ass at this game, and you said you wanted to know my secrets. Also, the reason you’re not seeing a ‘girl’ is because…” Michaela looked down at her shoes for a brief second, took a slow breath in and looked back at Jeremy. She looked a bit nervous for some reason, and her face was flushed a light red. He’d never seen his friend look this insecure in a while. The last time she looked this way, she was also crying, and it was because she didn’t think she’d get a date because she had a couple more pounds than other girls.

“I’m not a girl. Uhm. I’m trans?”

“What?”

What?

Michaela chuckles at that.

“I’m transgender, Jeremy.”

“Ohhhh.”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other for a while, and Jeremy began taking in Michaela’s change. He realized that he still greatly resembled who he was before summer break. Same skin tone, same silky hair, same face shape. His voice wasn’t much deeper, but Jeremy could still tell it was Michaela. The way he smiled was the same. His eyes were still the nice, dark shade of brown that he was used to staring in.

“W-well. That’s. New. Is that what you were doing over summer break?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I got my haircut, and we visited this therapist because I was dealing with really bad dysphoria. I didn’t want to be seen in town while going through this. I just wanted to be able to come back, and have everyone in high school only see me like how I am right now. Because uh.. This is who I am.”

“Yeah.”

“You have. Anything else to say besides ‘yeah’?” He asked, slightly agitated.

“No. I don’t… Really know what to say. I mean, I wish you would have told me. It kinda sucks that you didn’t trust me enough.” Jeremy admitted. This conversation felt too heavy for the environment they were in.

“It’s not your fault or anything. I mean, and you can’t really get mad at me for not telling you. Jeremy-- It’s really _hard._ Being cis, you can always be comfortable with how you look and sound and what’s written down on documents or papers. But doing this is hard. I know it’s irrational, kind of, but I was still afraid you would be weirded out, or call me names. You can’t get mad at me for not telling you until now. You don’t know how it feels.”

“I don’t, but you don’t get how _I_ feel! It really hurts!” Michaela stood awkwardly, rubbing his arm. His eyes were glossy and he looked about to cry, and Jeremy felt regret overcome his anger.

“Jeremy.. I-I’m sorry. I am. I’m really sorry, please, you have to understand…” Michaela’s voice cracked, and he lifted his hands to wipe his eyes that were watering up.

“Oh fuck, Michaela--”

“M-Michael,”

“Michael, I’m sorry, please don’t cry-- Here,” Jeremy grabbed Michael by the arm and sat him down next to him, wrapping his arms around his friend in a tight, loving hug. Seeing Michael cry was Jeremy’s biggest weak spots. He could never handle a sad, broken Michael. He started slowly rubbing his hand up and down his back in a soothing motion. Michael clung onto Jeremy’s middle tightly.

“Please don’t hate me or something, I’m sorry, I know I should have told you b-but it was _hard_ Jeremy,”

“It’s okay. I understand, it’s okay.”

Some people who happened to walk past the area would stare, and look back at who they were walking with and wonder _what’s going on over there?_ And other people would actually walk over and ask _are you two okay? Is he okay?_ And Jeremy would nod awkwardly, and Michael’s grip on his middle would tighten every time someone came close to them because he didn’t like crying in front of other people.

Eventually, Michael calmed down and pushed himself away from Jeremy. His eyes were puffy and red, and he was sniffling. Michael looked a damn mess, and Jeremy knew it was partially his fault. He shouldn’t have pushed. He should have just been happy that Michael came out to him, and he should have been happy that _Michael_ was finally happy. He realized that he was probably the first one to know Michael was trans, besides his parents.

“Do… Do you feel better or..?”

“Yeah.” Michael pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Michael,” Michael’s head snapped up at the sound of his name. His face showed he looked a little surprised that Jeremy called him _Michael_ . “You’re still my best friend. I get how hard it must have been for you… I was just a tad hurt. But I’m not anymore. I’m mostly just happy that you’re _you_ now, and seeing you so.. Happy to be you is enough for me. I didn’t need to be the first person to know. I just want to know that you’re happy, and that’s all.” Michael smiled through the exhaustion of crying for like, eight minutes. He looked about to cry again, so Jeremy quickly added on, “Please don’t start crying again.”

 

Michael laughed.

A real laugh.

 

Jeremy smiled.

 

 

Nothing has changed.

**Author's Note:**

> boy i sure hope i did this and it made sense no body beta read this we publish stuff without editing like men  
> Also thabk you so much for leaving kudos and commenting I know I'm weird to talk to but I really appreciate it a lot !
> 
> extra note i realize somethings may not make sense i omitted some events ; michael is on T like late feb early march (hes been on T for at least 6 months), which is why when jeremy sees him he looks pretty masculine. he also binds.


End file.
